A person who is addicted to drugs and someone who is a codependent are very similar. People who have codependence are people who have a physical, psychological, or emotional dependence on a bad relationship, usually when they have to care for someone who has an illness or addiction. At its core, codependency is the idea that one should give up their own needs for the sake of others, no matter what happens. This kind of behavior can be bad for both the person and the people they care about, because they don’t think about their own feelings and needs for the sake of others.
People who have a bad relationship are more likely to turn to drugs to deal with their problems. These people’s self-identity is based on how they interact with others and how hard it is for them to express themselves and say “no.” This makes them more susceptible to low self-esteem and trauma, which makes them more likely to turn to drugs or alcohol to deal with their emotions. Often, if a codependent person doesn’t use drugs, they end up dating or marrying someone who does, which is just as bad. In order to get over addiction, it is important to figure out whether you are a codependent person or are in a codependent relationship and figure out how to get over it.
People learn to be codependent, but they also learn how to break the habit. You can find a lot of information at your local bookstore. Here are 11 books about codependency that show how codependent relationships can look, how to break this pattern of behavior, and why some people end up being codependent.
Ten Books for Recovery from Codependency
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
In 1986, Melanie Beattie wrote a classic self-help book that made the world aware of codependent behavior. It was written for people-pleasers, and it tells stories and gives advice to help people see that they need to put the needs of others above their own. It also shows them how to value themselves. Readers can also get a Codependent No More Workbook that helps them keep track of their progress through ten lessons.
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents by Melody Beattie
Melanie Beattie wrote this book for people who want to think about their own lives. She uses the knowledge she has learned from her own experiences as a daily guide for people who want to be more responsible for their own lines. They are as good for people who are addicted or who have a problem with alcohol as they are for the people who love and care for them, too. The collection has a meditation for each new day.
You’re Not Crazy– You’re Codependent.: What Everyone Affected by Addiction, Abuse, Trauma or Toxic Shaming Must know to have peace intheir lives by Jeanette Elisabeth Menter.
If you come from a family who drinks a lot, or if you use drugs, you may not know how it affects your own life. In addition to trauma, physical or emotional abuse, and shame, they often feel like they have to be in charge of other people’s happiness and behavior all the time. This can cause things like depression, anxiety, unhealthy relationships, controlling behavior, or the need for perfectionism to happen. Menter uses an interactive format to help readers recover from codependent thinking by teaching them how to be more mindful.
The New Codependent: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation by Melody Beattie
This is an updated version of Beattie’s previous work on codependent behavior. She looks at how it has changed in the 21st century, based on those changes. She breaks down the obsession with caring for others into specific actions that can be taken care of one at a time. In each chapter, there is a different subject, like the difference between codependent and chemically dependent behavior. She also talks about healthy behaviors like acceptance and self-love, which are good for people, as well.
Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody
People who know a lot about alcohol and drugs are Pia Mellody and her work. In this book, she talks about how childhood trauma can make it hard for people to have healthy relationships as adults. When she talks about re-parenting, she talks about the “precious” or “inner” child. She also talks about how to heal old wounds and love oneself. The book comes with a workbook called Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for People Who Are Codependent.
Co-Dependents Anonymous by CODA
It is a guide to the 12-step program used by Co-Dependents Anonymous, also known as CODA. It leads groups through the stages of self-discovery, growing into better people, and sharing what they’ve learned. It is also a good thing for people to use. The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Workbook of Co-Dependents Anonymous is a journal that goes with the guide. It explains each step and gives you a place to write down your own thoughts.
Co-Dependency for Dummies by Darlene Lancer
This book gives an in-depth look at codependent behavior, explains why it happens, and talks about how to fix it. It also makes a difference between healthy and unhealthy care-taking, talks about healthy boundaries, and gives a plan for recovery.
The Road Back to Me: Healing and Recovering From Co-dependency, Addiction, Enabling, and Low Self Esteem by Lisa A. Romano
This is the story of a woman who was lonely and bullied as a child, but she was able to move on and become a better person in adulthood. After the birth of her three children, she starts to heal from low self-esteem and suicidal thoughts. This makes her a good role model for people who are trying to move on from a painful past. She makes a big difference between self-worth and bad programming from when she was young.
Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependence by Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW
Weiss is a psychotherapist, and he uses his skills to come up with a new way to care for and live with addicts. In it, he points out that the old idea of loving someone too much or loving the “wrong” person can have a bad reputation. He also talks about how to deal with the self-doubt and blame that come with being in a relationship with someone who has a drug addiction. Rather than trying to make people feel bad about their lives, his answer is to validate them instead of making them feel bad.
The Real Dope on Living with an Addict: How Addiction Saved My Life by Meredith Elliott Powell
The author talks about living with a lot of addicts in the same family. She talks about what to expect from an alcoholic and how to deal with them. As well, she talks about how to take care of oneself and other members of the family, and she tells how to start the process of getting better.
Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw
When Bradshaw wrote his classic book, he talked about the toxic shame that comes from growing up in an alcoholic home and how to turn it into the healthy shame that is needed for spiritual living. He also gave 12 steps for how to do that. He also talks about how important it is to stand up for your inner child and learn to forgive yourself. Bradshaw hosted a number of PBS shows about addiction, recovery, and spirituality.