Children should talk about puberty and sexuality with their parents on a regular basis, not in a one-time book discussion or at a retreat where they read a book. You can read more about this in my article, “5 Key Principles for Teaching Kids About Sexuality and Purity: An Interview with 7 Godly Moms Who Do It Right.” In that case, these books have been recommended by other moms who want to do the same thing as them. Some of these books I’ve read. I’d highly recommend that you read the books on your own first, and then pray about whether the approach or timing is right for your child, because each person and family situation is different. I’ve read some of these books myself. You can either read these books with your child so you can answer questions and talk about the topics together, or you can use them as a guide to help you know how to talk with your kids when things happen. I hope this helps.
The Miracle of Change By: Tim and Amy Loper
To read with your daughter, this is a great book. It talks about puberty and menstruation in a positive, God-honoring way, so it’s great for moms to read together. To show how intercourse works, this book compares the reproduction of a flower to how people have sex. To teach about sexuality in a more subtle way when your kids are young, this is a good book for girls to read. It will help girls learn about things that are important to them, but it will also leave out some of the more adult topics until later on, when they are older. A few months before your daughter starts her menstrual cycle, this book should be read. It is best to choose the right time to read this book based on your daughter’s physical and emotional readiness for the book.
The Mission: Boy to Man by Tim Loper, Ami Loper (2011) Perfect Paperback By: Tim and Amy Loper
In this book, which was written by the same people who wrote The Miracle of Change, it talks about boys going through puberty. The book first talks about the mission of becoming a man by looking at puberty, abilities, and God’s call from a biblical point of view, then it talks about how to be a man. That’s when it talks about how to stay strong in the fight for purity. Pre-teen boys will like the illustrations and adventure theme with topic summaries, which will keep them interested and help them learn. A good book for dads to read with their sons is this one. It will help them talk openly about these important issues. You can find this book at Parenting Made Practical as well! The Amazon link above has a price that’s too high.
Passport2Purity® Getaway Kit by FamilyLife – Version 3 By: Dennis and Barbara Rainey
Many parents have used Passport2PurityTM to teach their kids about sex and purity over the last decade. It has been recommended by many moms. In the third edition, there are more topics about the current sexual temptations and issues that young people face today. Listen to the material and talk about it together with your mother, daughter, or son on a retreat. Several moms have told me that they used some of the curriculum and found it very useful, but they didn’t do all of the audios and topics that came with the curriculum. This is a curriculum that you should study more and look through before you show it to your child. It could be a good resource for you to use! If you want to learn more, go to Familylife.com. There, you can buy packages for girls and boys.
Preparing for Adolescence: How to Survive the Coming Years of Change By: Dr. James Dobson
This book has been a good source of information for Christian teens for a long time. It has been updated to keep up with the changes in the world over the years. This book is more direct than others I’ve recommended, but it does a good job of explaining how changes in the body can affect your emotions and self-esteem, and how to deal with them, too. You should read it first to see if you and your child have the same beliefs and convictions before giving it to your child. Family Guides and workbooks are also available, and they would be a great way to talk about these things with your family.
If you’re a parent, Dr. James Dobson’s books Bringing Up Girls and Bringing Up Boys are great resources. They can also be found under the parent resources tab.
Passion and Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life Under Christ’s Control By: Elisabeth Elliot
You can read this book to learn about Elisabeth’s diary entries, letters to her husband, and memories of their relationship before they were married. This is a classic, true love story. Jim went on to be killed for his faith in the jungles of Ecuador, and he died. People can see right through the message. It’s full of truth about true love and how to put God’s desires above our own. Inspired me to wait for God’s timing when I was in college, and I think it will do the same for other teenagers, too. People who live in a self-centered culture that focuses on being happy and meeting their needs should read this book. It will give them a new perspective on how to live for God and love and purity.
Raising a Lady in Waiting
People are very excited about this new book. No, I didn’t. I was a teen when I read the first Lady in Waiting. Seeing that the author had written a book for parents about the same thing made me want to read it. It should be read by any mom who has “breath in her lungs,” says the author. She says this book should be read by anyone who is aware of how our culture hurts our girls. “Our culture tells girls to spend more time looking for the right pair of jeans than the right kind of man!” Oh, how true that is to me. A lot of the time, this book talks about how to help our daughters find the right man, but not so much how to become the right woman. They talk about a different virtue that we should teach our daughters. It is important to have virtues like reckless abandonment for the Lord and a lot of other things. Each chapter comes with a set of questions for you to think about. My girls and I will start reading this book when we finish our Every Man’s Battle class at church. A lot of people like this book because it focuses on what we become as women, not on finding the “right guy.”