Books for dominants

This is a list of books that I've read over the years that have helped me think about and deal with some of the things above. It's not a complete list, but it's very important to read.

If you read the books below and apply the advice in them, I'm sure you'll have better relationships and sex lives in no time.

These books are really good.

None of the books on this list are written for people who are in dom sub relationships. You might not even know that some of them have nothing to do with sex or relationships at all.

So, as you read each one, you'll see how each piece of information connects to the next, making a patchwork of techniques that will help you become a better person, more confident, more empathetic and understanding, more assertive, and more fun to be around.

Your D/s relationship, sex, and dating become better when you use the skills you learned from your D/s relationship. A lot will change.

Summary for those in a rush

The Definitive Book of Body Language

How to read other people's emotions by how they move is a best-seller around the world for a good reason. The book talks about how to read body language. It organizes examples by body part, like the face or hands, so you can get better at reading people.

Some people might think the book's contents are a little too obvious to read at first. There must be something wrong with him because he's putting his arms together. Whoop-dee-doo”. And some of the book is clear. There's no need to remind us of it all the time. There are also little bits of wisdom hidden in the book that aren't so obvious to look for at first. One of these is worth the price of the book by itself.

Here are a few things I like about knowing:

Having their backs to an open door makes people a little more wary. If you are negotiating, make sure you sit at the table facing the door and have them with their backs to it. It'll give you a leg up.

In a group of people who are standing around and talking, look down at everyone's feet and see how they are standing there. People tend to point their feet at the person they think is the group leader or the person who is the most beautiful. To figure out who likes you at a party, try this trick. It's also good for finding out how people see you in a group.

How to read body language can help you keep an eye on your partner during BDSM. If she's in subspace, she might not be able to use the safeword, or if she's afraid, she might not tell you about it.

Another thing this book will show you is how to be more powerful. It might be hard for you to start because you don't think you are very confident or assertive, and you don't know where to start. It's possible for you to change how you hold your body, turn your head, and speak to make yourself look more powerful and confident.

Guess what? At first, it will look like you are. It will be weird walking in a different way, or standing in a different way. If you keep doing it, you'll start to see it as a part of who you are, too. And soon, you'll be the most confident person in a group.

No More Mr. Nice Guy

People who complain about how "nice guys" don't get the attention they deserve are the ones who need to work on themselves, not the other way around. You need to work on yourself, not the other way around.

I have been there.

There is no more. In this case, "Mr. Nice Guy: A Proven Plan for Getting What You Want in Love, Sex, and Life" is a must-read.

There's a main idea in the book that you aren't being true to yourself because your parents didn't want you to be a burden or get in trouble for asking for things. As a result, you have this "nice guy persona" who doesn't ask for what he wants directly, but instead tries to get it by manipulating people. If you don't get it, you become angry at the other person.

It sounds familiar.

Let me show you a real-life example. You love getting blowjobs, but your partner doesn't. What if you don't ask her to do sex with you when you're next in bed? You give her oral sex until she has multiple orgasms, and think that if you do she will do the same. When she doesn't give you a blowjob because you haven't told her you want one, you become angry and think, "This is so unfair! Then she didn't give me a blowjob for an hour. I'm the one who's in trouble.

In reality, you were trying to get your partner to do what you want. There was no reason for you to give her oral sex for its own sake. You were giving her oral sex because you were getting something in return.

Men get angry when a woman doesn't sleep with them on a first date because they brought flowers. This is the same mindset that makes men angry when a woman doesn't sleep with them on a first date because they brought flowers.

For both of you, not being able to say what you want hurts. Unless you know how to ask someone for what you want or set healthy boundaries, you won't be a good dom.

In order to make the world a better place, please buy the book and read it from start to finish.

I'm going to help you get out of the "nice guy denial phase," which is when you don't think about how bad your own behavior is, and start to think about how you can change it.

Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

It's called "Nonviolent Communication," and it's a way of life. People who read this book will learn how to communicate in a healthy way with everyone, from your partner to your friends to your coworkers.

They say that violent communication is when you act in a way that hurts other people. When we judge others, bully them because of their race, blame them, point fingers at them and discriminate against them. We speak without listening and criticize both others and ourselves. When we are angry, we use political rhetoric and defend ourselves. Trying to beat people up or hurt them in any way is not what this is about

Everyone fights in some way when they talk to each other. It's part of being a person. It's up to you how much of your communication can be violent. Instead, you should interact with people in a way that doesn't cause them any harm.

In a D/s relationship, it's important to know how to ask for what we want and listen to others even if we don't agree with them. The book gives us tools and strategies to help us understand how our words affect how people respond to us.

Everybody would be better off if they talked this way.

When talking about kinks and sex, I've found the techniques that have been shown to be the most useful. A lot of people have trouble listening to their partners' fantasies or kinks without having judgmental thoughts, feeling ashamed, disgusted and so on. These techniques will help you learn how to put your own fantasies into words without being laughed at, shamed, or afraid of how your partner will react.

You can also practice the techniques when you talk about your sex menu with someone else.

Come As You Are

I want you to read a book for women about female orgasms, but I'm a man and I don't want you to read it.

Because I think it's important for you to know how hard it can be for some women to get orgasms and enjoy sex. To be a male dominant, you should try to understand your submissive. You should spend time in her shoes and figure out what makes her happy.

It will help you with that.

Covering kink isn't what this book is about. It focuses on the double standards that society has when it comes to how it thinks about women and men having sex, as well as the psychological blockers to sexual gratification that happen because of these double standards.

My main takeaways from the book are that women have a hard time getting orgasms because of stress from the environment and their minds. A person might be very excited, but they might not be able to fully enjoy their sexual experience because "the brakes," which are being applied, are pulling in the opposite direction.

Having this knowledge will help you understand why your masterful oral or finger technique might work sometimes but not other times, and why it might not work at all other times. If you think about sex as a man and think that women work the same way, you won't be a great lover. There are a lot of women who have trouble with sex on online forums, and many don't orgasm during sex.

It hurts me when I can't give orgasms to my sub. I am a gentle dom. There may be "brakes" in her way, and I work with her to get them off. In some cases, it doesn't take much more than some non-judgemental listening, removing stressors from the environment, and making her feel comfortable before sex even starts to make progress. I'm not an expert by any means.

If you are a man, don't forget about the emotional and psychological side of sex. It is far more important than how you look on the outside (read about techniques for being more dominant in the bedroom here). Make her go from "meh" to "Oh my God."

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment

In the last book on the list, you will learn about attachment theory. Each person fits into one of three types of relationships based on how they were raised as a child.

A secure, avoidant, or anxious attachment style can be your way of getting along with people. The people who are safe make up 50% of the population. This is a list of people who always seem to be in good relationships, like this:

There are people who don't want to be in a relationship, because they think it's not worth the work and the trouble. They do their own self-harm by picking partners who aren't right for them, even though they know it will break up later on. This way, they don't have to deal with the emotional stress of a relationship. They point the finger at their partner when things don't work out because "she wasn't good enough for me."

When you have an anxious attachment style, you don't want to avoid things. They get into relationships quickly, but like the avoidant, they also choose the wrong people, too. They choose people who aren't going to treat them well and then break up with them, which proves their unconscious belief that they aren't good enough for a relationship (I wasn't good enough for her). In a relationship, anxious people blame themselves for everything that goes wrong, and they always try to "not mess up" and "do everything for their partner."

The people who are anxious and avoidant make up 50% of the population. They also tend to be the people who are single (because secure people stay together). The problem is that anxious and avoidant people are attracted to each other like magnets because both of them have something the other wants, which makes them like a powerful force.

I often wonder if many D/s relationships are caused by an Avoidant and an Anxious person getting together, but I don't know for sure. In the relationships I've had in the past, I've seen this. As someone who avoids things, I'm drawn to people who are anxious because the sexual chemistry is crazy. The anxious type is a people-pleaser, which is what a submissive is naturally. The avoidant type is strong, stoic, and doesn't want to make a decision (the stereo typical image of a dom).

In fact, you don't want to be a person who is afraid or stressed. Make sure you're safe, because if you aren't, you will keep getting into relationships that don't work.

That's where this book comes into play.

It helps you figure out what kind of attachment style you have, and how to move into a more secure kind of attachment style. Tips: I've found them very useful. You know when your Avoidant style is acting up, even though there's nothing wrong. It's also made you more aware of who you choose to date.

If you have any of the problems I've talked about above, then you should get this book.

Summary or books for dominants

There you go. All dominants should read these five books.

If you're a subnissive, you should also read this. All of the principles in the books will be the same for you, except for No More Mr. Nice Guy. That book might help you understand why your man does what he does, though.

Isn't just about having sex, but also understanding your own and others' minds. Aim to keep improving yourself all the time. Identify your flaws and try to improve.

It will be a good thing for your dom sub relationship and for the rest of your life.

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